Her challenge to us: Pick a short scene from a book, movie or TV show that didn't go the way you wanted. Rewrite the scene the way you would have written in 500 word or less. So many options and only 500 words to complete this challenge. Wish me luck!
After careful consideration, I picked "Dracula Untold", because, well, Luke Evans and Halloween are an unbeatable pair. Plus, in my eyes, Bram Stoker was telling a love story when he originally wrote Dracula. My choice is the scene where Mirena plunges to her death. I'm a hopeless romantic and I rooted for Vlad and his wife to be together for all eternity. So here's my re-write:
Her terrified scream echoed above the roar of the battle raging around him.
“Mirena!” he breathed her name as fear claimed the little bit of the soul he had remaining. Thanks to the deal he’d made with the Master Vampire, his hearing and vision sharpened to the point of pain. He caught sight of her suspend by her arms from the parapet. Hamza Bey stood over her, sword clutched in one hand, Vlad’s son, Ingeras restrained in the other.
“Mirena! Hold on, my love! I’m coming.” He blasted the command from his brain to hers, praying to God or the devil that she not fall.
His skin split into thousands of pieces, taking the form of black bats. The force of the flock lifted him above and he hurtled toward the tower...toward his wife and son, his reasons for living.
Before he could reach them, Hamza disappeared with Ingeras, leaving Mirena clinging to crumbling stone. A sharp crack sounded and Mirena’s scream scratched through the wild flock as she plunged down the sharp rock face of the cliff his castle perched upon. He flew after her, arms stretched toward her, yelling her name, as if that alone could tether her to him and halt her plummet.
The silk of her dress teased the end of his fingers as precious seconds ticked by. Vlad’s world slowed to slow motion, the terror in Mirena’s eyes freezing the blood in his veins to ice.
Finally, he grasped one of her wrists and jerked her to his chest. She wrapped her arms violently around his neck and she held on to him for dear life. The ground flew toward them at a pace he wasn’t sure he could defeat. Twisting, he reversed their positions placing himself on the bottom at the last second. The flock that had been surrounding them cushioned their crash to the earth, and Vlad lost his breath as Mirena jarred down onto his chest.
But they both breathed. He hadn’t lost her to the fall. They both lived...for a time.
Mirena caressed his cheek, turning his face to hers. “My love, you must drink my blood, you must in order to save Ingeras. Even if it means we are both damned for eternity. We will walk through the ages arm in arm.”
“Mirena, you can’t be serious. The giant sucking hole where my full soul used to be weighs on me.”
“Losing my son will weigh on me. We must do this to save him.” She shoved his mouth against her neck. “Drink my love,” she commanded.
As his fangs descended, they burned painfully, seeking the warm blood flowing through Mirena’s veins. Her flesh tasted of roses and cream when he cut into her vein and fastened his lips against her supple skin. He drank until he tasted her turning before releasing her.
She staggered to her feet, holding her hand out to him. “Let’s go save Ingeras.”
That's my version of the way things should have gone with that scene in Dracula Untold. S.C. Mitchell is up next and I just know his revision will be awesome. Thanks for stopping by and I hope you'll come back next week.